Ask Yourself These Questions to Understand Depression
In this trying season, it can be impossible to roll out of bed and face another day of the “grind.” When life feels like damage control as opposed to taking action, it can be easy to become discouraged or depressed.
In this video I want to share with you how depression can work. But before I do that, can I ask you some hard questions?
When will you be good enough to like yourself?
When will you be good enough for you to love?
It’s much easier to hit snooze on life than feel like self-love and satisfaction are forever out of reach.
Depression can feel like shadow boxing with yourself. There is little you can do to out-achieve or outrun feelings of emptiness, apathy, self-loathing, and suffering. We’re just waiting for depression to sucker punch all the joy and hope from that latest achievement. So why bother putting on the gloves to fight it?
Another question: In your experience, when has a task ever given you permission to love yourself?
I can’t think of the last time an achievement sat me down and said, “You know what, you’re worth it now. Good job!”
Last questions: has a person ever given you permission to like or love yourself?
What if that person were you? And if you cannot give yourself permission to love yourself, have you explored what has gotten in the way? The things that have gotten in the way of you giving yourself permission to love yourself…are they helpful?
The problem is you cannot outrun your emotions, your shortcomings, or your pain. When the party stops and the music dies down, odds are they’re waiting for you when you get home from the latest success. What would it look like to open up a place inside, where hopes and dreams of self-acceptance and peace have been withering, and truly treasure the person who placed those things in the drawer?
Behind all those goals, hopes, and dreams there’s a person you probably aspire to be. If that person was sitting with you right now, and they knew your whole life story, how would they hold all the pieces of you? Would they treat you well and if they didn’t, are you sure that’s someone you want to be?
These questions have been really challenging, and I understand if they are difficult or painful to answer. If you can’t imagine what that would be like, can I challenge you to find a safe person to talk to about how you are feeling?
If you feel that a trained professional would be helpful throughout that process of you learning to accept yourself as you are, please feel free to give us a call. We are here to help and would love to be a part of your journey to acceptance and self-love.
DAVID TOBEY
Mens & Couples Therapist
I help men and couples who feel like they are sinking take a brave step toward wholeness in a space designed to remind you that you do not have to be alone in your pain.
