Resources for Date Night at Home
COVID cases are surging everywhere, and winter is coming (or already here in many places). While this is enormously difficult for most of us, it doesn’t mean that our romantic relationships have to suffer. Regular date night at your favorite restaurant or bar may no longer be an option, so many couples are left feeling lonely and disconnected, even though they’re at home together. As I tell many of the people I work with, just because you’re home together doesn’t mean you’re connecting or having quality time together. Therefore, we have to get creative and find new and meaningful ways to connect.
If you’re hoping to change-up your typical date night at home (take out and Netflix, anyone else?), there are plenty of options thanks to apps, games, and online quizzes you can do together as a couple. The goal of doing these is to connect on a deeper level besides just the typical, “How was your day?”, and then inevitably venting about work, childcare, virtual learning, politics, general anxiety… and so forth.
Disclaimer: I haven’t tried all of these apps and games, so I cannot say for certain which ones are better than others or which ones will be best for your unique relationship. My hope is that couples can give some of these a try with an open-mind and ready for deeper conversations or even a good laugh. And maybe you’ll even learn something new about each other! Any time you spend with your partner (or partners) where you can talk about the relationship and share feelings is a big win in my book!
Apps:
Gottman Card Deck
XConfessions
Love Nudge
Couple Game
How Well Do You Know Me?
Couples Quiz Relationship Game
Honi- Game for Couples
Games:
We're Not Really Strangers
The Skin Deep
Adult Loaded Questions- A Rousing Adult Party Game
Dare Duel: A Romantic Game for Couples
Intimacy Deck by BestSelf
Couple Connect: Deeper Conversations and Thoughtful Activities
Online Quizzes:
36 Questions: How to Fall in Love (http://36questionsinlove.com/)
The Gottman Institute Quiz (https://www.gottman.com/how-well-do-you-know-your-partner/quiz/)
Marriage.com Quizzes (https://www.marriage.com/quizzes/topics/couple)
The 5 Love Languages Quiz (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/)
For those of you who may want to start with your own version of this without an app, game, or quiz, here are more options:
General Check-in Questions:
On a daily basis, start practicing sharing a high and low of the day. The goal is to share emotions with this, not just, “It was fine.” (If you need help naming emotions, an emotion wheel may be helpful.)
For weekly check-ins, here are more questions:
How are you feeling today/ this week? (Name a couple of emotions you've felt)
What was something you struggled with today/ this week?
Tell me about some anxiety or fears you've had lately.
What do you need from me today/ this week?
Was there a time this week you felt connected to me?
When was a time you had a need that was met by me?
How would you like to connect next week given the restrictions we have?
When do you usually feel closest and most connected to me?
I appreciated when you did _____ this week.
Doing these activities or check-ins are not a substitute for therapy, but they can be an excellent addition to the work you may already be doing! The goal of doing these is not to fix any major relationship issues but to rather connect on a deeper level on a more regular basis than you may be right now. Any time you get to discuss your feelings, your sexual self, and your relationship with your partner, it’s an opportunity to connect and strengthen your relationship bond. We could all use some of that right now, amiright?
Enjoy!
